Pain Fades, Not People...

The day started with a friend of mine buzzing me up at 12 am and shouting at top of her voice " Happy independence day " , i said " Ya sure , Independence day , sure it is " ; definitly it was not me !! Guess I hoped for too much that night when i got myself off from office early to catch some sleep..."hmmm..tell me , whats happening with you now days ?" . The conversation went on till the night faded into a brilliant orange morning.; and i had a question burning inside me at the end of the talk with a long lost friend to which i didnt have an answer to..

Later down the day , we were sitting in Cofee day and i was recounting what happened the last night, and was still frustrated with myself that i didnt have an answer or any thing consoling to tell ....
" How do we end up loving a person who we know for sure are up to no good ?" , and them my friend tells me " you know Kiran, this is something i happen to know the answer to " to realize that i did think a bit aloud... and then she said something that really made a lot of sense to me after a long time...

She went on " Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you." and i am like "Exactly, and on top of that there's the old standby, I can't believe a girl like that would actually be with a guy like me." She just shrugged and leaned back and said " Kiran , I have a question for you ; breakup's are bad and you and i know that how much ever we try and subside that pain , it somehow never fades so then what next ? "

I just sat there sipping my coffee and said " I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your friends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that she'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And then you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade " I said.

"Phew !!, that was intense " she said ; I nodded in agreement and we both leaned back and sunk back into the comfy chairs , sipping our drinks and looked out of the large window of the Coffee day , looking at the busy street, at the city that has given us so much but had taken from us so much more ...... At the end of the day i guess the pain does fade if we would decide do....

An intense post for a lot of people going and have gone through breakups and pain has faded but not us.. Enjoy folks !!!